Merry Holidays!

Happy Christmas and Merry Holidays to you!

Love you!
Ted E. Bare and David Strassman

Chuck is Gone!

Chuck JUST STARES ALOT. He is not moving around much. He just sits there and stares at the Christmas tree and watches the lights blink on and off. When Dave tries to talk to him, Chuck says (in a scary voice):”Leave me alone. Go away!”

Hurt Him?

Chuck said he is hearing voices. Dave and I aren’t hearing them. Chuck is serious. He said that he is hearing bad stuff, like: “Hurt him! Huuuuuuuurt him!” What should we do?

Help!
Ted E. Bare

Chuck is Not Well.

Chuck is talking to himself a lot like he is two people. Dave is starting to think Chuck has something or someone else inside him!

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Chuck's Dream Part 2

Dave is poking fun and trying to get Chuck to be more happy. I believe Chuck. He has changed since he had the dream about being a boy. But, I remember he said he wants to sell his soul to a devil. That scares me.

Ted E. Bare

Chuck's Dream

Dave is talking to Chuck about his dream. Dave thinks that Chuck was in a bad dream and not a good dream. Chuck is getting mad, because Dave is not talking to him when he needs it most.

Love,
Ted E.

Catch.

Chuck is sick and I am not allowed to go into his room because Dave says I can catch it. I don’t have my baseball glove on, so I can’t catch it anyway.

I hope Chuck feels better soon. He’s out of it.

Love,
Ted E.

About the Devil.

Dave says the devil doesn’t really exist. He’s just a metpore for bad people. Why did Chuck sell his soul to the devil? I think because he really wants to be a boy.

I’m scared of the devil. I don’t want him to get my soul.

Love,
Ted E. Bare.

The Devil

I just read Chuck’s blog and I want to know, “What is the devil?”
Can you guys explain that to me?

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Tanksgiving

Tanksgiving is a nice holiday. No one is working and the kitchen always smells like stuffing and all the nice things I like to eat.

I hope you guys had a lot of good food. I was thinking about you all.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

A Word from David Strassman

Hi Everybody. Just want to say that I love you guys. You are all so great and awesome. Now Dave wants to say something to you guys.

Hi Dear Friends,
Dave here. Just wanted everyone to know that Chuck is absolutely not abused or taken advantage of. See his post on his blog today. http://chuckwoodsblog.blogspot.com/

Chuck can be demanding, rude and extremely insecure sometimes. He can act like a real brat. But, I still love him. He’s like a son to me and I have unconditional love for him.

To make him feel better, go ahead and leave him a comment. It’s important to him, so I want to support him.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the US followers.

Love,
David Strassman

Blow Outs!

Oh oh! Chuck and Dave had a blow out. And, I don’t mean tires!

Love,
Ted. E. Bare

Cutey-ness

Today Dave took me shopping and all the girls stopped to talk to me. We are a big hit here in Australia, but even in America girls seem to like me better than Chuck. I tell them that Chuck has changed, but they always grin and sometimes they wink at me and say: “Oooh, Ted E. you’re so cute!”

What does it mean?

Love,
Ted E.

Brainwashing?

David Strassman talked to me and Chuck. He said it doesn’t make us bad to think bad thoughts. It’s normal. We just have to do good things so we don’t think bad thoughts. He says for us to keep ourselves busy with things that are good for us. So, we all went for a walk. Under his breath I heard Chuck mumble: “Brain washing.” That’s funny. Who washes their brain?

Haha.
Ted E.Bare

Thinking Bad Things...

Chuck wants to know if thinking bad things makes someone a bad person. I don’t know. I think bad stuff sometimes. Where does it come from, Dave?
Am I baaad?

Love,
Ted E. Bare
http://www.ventriloquist-david-strassman.com

Nutty Dave.

David is funny. Today, he was running around the house like a chicken with his head cut off. He couldn’t find his car keys and they were in his hand the whole entire time! He is nutty sometimes. When I looked at Chuck he was about to say something and then he rolled his eyes and smiled. Chuck is doing so much better. A month ago, he would have said: “You’re an idiot!”

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Apple Pie ala Mode

Hi Everybody!

Dave is not only the best ventriloquist, but he can also make an apple pie like no one else. He said with ice cream, it’s called ala mode. French is a funny and cute language.

XOXOXO,
Ted E. Bare

Vote America!

I love being home. I like my room. It makes me feel real cozy inside. It's getting colder and I have to wear my warm house slippers now.

I love you guys.

Stay warm and David Strassman says: GO VOTE, AMERICA!!!

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Back Again!

We’re already back from Awestralia. This time things were much calmer and Chuck was being a team with Dave and me. The shows were better than ever and I was having so much fun on stage.

Dave wanted me to tell all you Americans that Dave's DVDs are now available on Amazon.com in US DVD Format. Go there!

http://www.amazon.com/Strassman-Live/dp/B001GPL124/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1225496581&sr=1-1

Bye,
Ted. E. Bare

Dave is Nice!

I am glad that I told Dave about everything. Chuck was going to “destroy Dave and his act.” I couldn’t let that happen, because Dave is nice to me and he takes care of me.

Love,
Ted. E. Bare

TOT?

Chuck and I have been rehearsing a new show. He is calling it the Take Over Tour, or “TOT”. He thinks it’s funny, but I am not sure it’s so funny. He is writing my lines and they aren’t really me. I am lovable, not mean.

I think I gotta tell Dave.

Love, Ted. E. Bare

I Am Tired Today.

Tired from all the screaming last night. Dave was walking around cussing at the phone. He even threw it out the window. Lately, he has not been himself. He still won’t let me look at Chuck.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

A Cake For Me???

Hi Everyone!

I can’t figure out what I did to deserve a cake from Chuck. It’s not even my birthday. Well, I don’t care. I just want to eat it and forget about why he’s spoiling me.

Love me.
Ted E. Bare

My Heart Hurts!

Chuck talked to me a lot yesterday. Dave told me not to talk to Chuck, or even look at him. But, it made my heart hurt, so I had to. Chuck was crying and saying that Dave hurts his feelings all the time. He makes him sit in that sissy chair and makes him ashamed in front of the audience. He told me all about his childhood and how “Buttons” the clown touched him with mittens. I feel really sorry for Chuck now. He’s like a brother to me.

Love,

Ted E. Bare

Last Night.

The LAPD came to the door in the middle of the night. Chuck was found wandering around very late and the car was crashed into a tree in a canyon. Chuck told the cops that he lived in New York with a rich man, but one of the cops knows Dave; he’s seen his trailers on YouTube, so they called on the radio and found us. Chuck didn’t want to get out of the police car and he was yelling: “That is not my house! Don’t make me go in there!” It was a big mess and he woke up half the neighborhood. I think Chuck is losing his mind.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

I Am So Sad!

This weekend was not good. Every time I thought things would calm down, Chuck did something to make Dave mad. I don’t know why I stick up for him and talk Dave out of sending him away, because he turns me into a liar when I tell Dave, “Chuck is not so bad. It’s just how he is.” I think Dave loves and hates Chuck. I think Chuck just hates everybody. I’m not sure I can help him. It makes me sad.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Rehab for Puppets?

Oh oh! David is thinking about sending Chuck to a rehab place for bad puppets. I overheard him talking to a doctor on the phone today. Even though, I don’t like Chuck when he picks on me and hurts my feelings, I don’t really want him to be sent away. I think he will only get worse.

Anxiously yours,

Ted E. Bare

We Made it Home Alive!

We’re back home. I already miss Adelaide. I don’t miss the plane ride though. It scares me. I don’t like the loud noise and people always throw the shipping trunk Dave keeps me in. And, it always takes soooo long to get out of there! I get scared of the tight and dark trunk and I always cry to myself, but no one hears me.

All my love,
Ted E. Bare

I am Someone's FAVORITE!

Tonight was great. I met a nice couple who told Dave that I am their favorite. It made me blush. I like hearing things like thaaat, but I try not to let it get to my head. Dave says that means I am modest and I don’t have a big ego. It’s a trait everyone loves about me.

Egolessly yours,

Ted E. Bare

Breakfast in Awe-stralia...

Dave and I are sitting in front of the ‘puter together. He is drinking a herbal tea and I am drinking my hot cocoa. We’re reading Chuck’s blog and Dave is shaking his head a lot. I don’t think he has come up with a strategy that will put Chuck in his place.

I can feel this is all going to blow up in Chuck’s face soon.

Poor Chuck is digging himself into a self-made hole.

Yours always,

Ted E. Bare

The End of a David Strassman Show

My favorite moments are at the end of the show when people get up and clap for a long time. Clapping is so much fun. I wish my paws could meet in the middle so I can clap. Oh well.

I feel so proud of Dave, sometimes even Chuck and myself. I forget about everything and lose myself... When I find myself again, I'm happy. There is no talking, just bowing and clapping. I love that! It feels like we are the funnest guys alive! -- EVER! It's like when I eat dark chocolate. I love chocolates!!! And, I always want more. Tell Chuck I'm not a turtle!!!

Love forever,
Ted E. Bare

Thank You, Adelaide!

We had two sold out shows tonight! I sure love Adelaide! They laugh real loud! The people are so nice even if the Trams are weird. The trams don’t go anywhere. I don’t understand it. That’s so funny. I wanted to go out and have a curry after the show but Dave said he’s jetlagged and wanted to go to sleep. That’s okay. I love to sleep.

Nighty night,
Ted E.

We're in Australia!

Yippee! David decided not to ground Chuck until we get home. He doesn’t want Chuck to ruin the shows. There is one more day till the show in Adelaide.

I like working with David Strassman, (I call him Dave!) because he is the best ventriloquist on the planet and I woooooove him.

Your friend always,
Ted E. Bare

Chuck Wood is in bad trouble!

David is keeping a close eye on Chuck, wondering if he should be grounded before or after the tour in Australia. I’m scared Chuck is going to ruin the show. He always lashes out at me when David gets mad at him. I’m scaaaaared.

We're on to you, Chucky Boy!

I couldn’t sleep all night because Chuck was laughing to himself, so I snuck out of my room and saw him sitting in front of the ‘puter. This morning I checked his webernet history and saw he made a blog. I thought: Why can’t I have one, too? I’m not that dumb, because I talked to David about it and he said he would be glad to type my blog for me and everyone knows that David Strassman does not make typing mistakes.

“What’s Twitter, David?” “Let’s go find out!”