Help Me Deal with Chuck!

off to NewZeeland

2010-02-13T12:06:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys,

How are you all?
Im a bit sad today cus I've got to pack my suitcase ready to go to New Zeeland, thats near Australia!

We are going on a big aeroplane, weeeeee, but I won't be able to see where I'm going cus Im going to be stuck in my suitcase. Its not fair, I want my own seat in First Class, but I have to be luggage. Its always very cold and dark and they don't bring me any food. I get all lonely, except for Chuck, he sometimes has to go in his suitcase too, but sometimes Dave lets him have a real seat and an aeroplane meal. Maybe if Im really good Dave will let me ride up top next time, so I can have some aeroplane food, mmmmmmm.

See you in New Zeeland,

Love and Hugs,

Ted E. Bare
xxxxxxx

Birthday Cake

2009-10-02T03:36:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

I'm in a right old mess. I think its Chucks birthday soon and I've been trying to bake him a cake but i'm not very good at cakes. I didn't want anyone to know so it could be a surprise so I waited till chuck and Dave had gone to the store. Then I got out the flour, eggs, butter and icing sugar and chocolate sprinkles and candles and mixed them all up in a bowl. The flour kept going 'poof' and made me sneeze and the butter was all slippery and it kept trying to get away. Anyway, eventually it was all mixed up and I put it in the oven. It smelled really nice at first, then it smelt a bit funny, then it smelt horrible. I took it out of the oven but it was all black and the candles had melted so I threw it in the trash. When Dave and Chuck got back from the store it still smelt bad, so I blamed it on Kevin, poor kevin.

grounded again

2009-09-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Nothing much to report. I've been stuck indoors because I ate all the chocolates and the special cake that Dave had bought for when his auntie came to visit. Dave told me to stay away from them but I couldn't help it, they tasted soo good. Dave was mad and grounded me, i've been in my room ever since. bummer.

Love Ted. E. Bare

xxxxx

The Park

2009-08-16T08:18:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

We just got back from the park, we were having a nice time, playing on the swings and climbing frame and we had an icecream, but then we went down to the pond to feed the ducks some bread and Chuck pushed me in the pond and the ducks tried to eat me. Dave pulled me out again but I was all soggy so we had to come home early, I didn't even get to go on the slide.

Lots of Hugs,

Ted. E. Bare
xxx

We Got 2 Trailers For You.

2009-08-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

I like these. You will too. Check it! Hugs, Ted E.

View Trailer

View Trailer

Summer holiday

2009-07-25T05:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Sorry I havent posted in a while ive been on my summer holiday to Ireland, with angel, dave, kevin, grandpa fred and Chuck. We went on a plane across the sea. We usually go to Australia, but this time we had to get a different plane instead. We had a really nice time but it mostly rained and we got very wet. I did get to have some Guinness beer, which wasn't nice and made by head go funny. Chuck liked it though, so did Grandpa, they kept sneaking off to the pub while Dave wasnt looking. I think in going to go for a nap now,im really tired, Dave ses we are jet lagging, what ever that is.

Any way, byeeeeeee

Ted. E. Bare

turtle soup again

2009-07-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,
See I was right you can eat turtles, just not pet ones, wild ones might taste good too. il ask Dave if we can go to a restaurant at the weekend, I have been really good recently. Chuck has been good too recently so Dave might take both of us. Yay.

See you guys soon,

Love Ted. E. Bare xxxxx

Turtle Soup

2009-06-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

I love turtles, but Dave ses I cant eat them because they are pets, but I saw in a restaurant had turtle soup on the menu, so you can eat them. Dave ses turtle soup is not made from turtle but it must be or it wouldn't be called turtle soup, would it, duuuh.

love Ted. E. Bare

Day off

2009-06-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of performing, I need a day off. I want to go the beach and eat ice cream. Yep im decided im having a day out, don't tell Chuck cus he'll tell on me and I wont be able to go, shhhh, its a secret. Il tell you all about it wen I get back, bye xxx

Kalgoorlie trip

2009-05-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hi guys, i'm very confused about skimpy girls and miners and lots of things in Kalgoorlie. Chuck told me stay in my room every night because lots of girls had most of their clothes stolen by miners, they were just in their underwhere and I didn't want anyone to steal my fur so I hid in my room until we could leave and come to Perth. Anyway, I'm safe now, no one is going to steal my fur, no way!

WA here we come!

2009-04-21T04:54:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited, I love coming to Australia, can't wait to see you there! I like planes, but only when I can see out of the window, i like to see the fluffy clouds and the little people but I get scared if I can't see out, Chuck keeps saying he has a big suprise for me on the plane, I wonder what it is?

See you soon,

Ted.E.Bare

Rainy Day

2009-04-13T03:49:00.000-07:00

I'm so sad, It was raining today. Me and Chuck were playing out in the
puddles and Dave made us come inside and dry off. Chuck put cloths
pegs on my ears...he said it would help me dry off but it just hurts!
Chuck is mean but at least he didn't put me in the clothes dryer. Dave
is mad at him!

Easter Bunny in my dreams!

2009-04-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

I dreamed that the Easter Bunny came to my house and was mad at me.
He said... (I think it was a he? It's hard to tell with bunnies..)
He said I didn't eat enough chocolates last year and that I had to do my part this year.
I love chocolates.
And, I love chocolates.
I also love the chickies marshmellow yellow guys!
And, I love chocolates.
Chocolate bunnies.
I hope the Easter bunny won't get made at me for eating him.

Bad Mistake

2009-01-20T18:50:00.000-08:00

I made a bad mistake going to the country where they make the wine. Now, Dave is making me pay for that. He said: “No more internet.” I am sad. I am crying now. Bye everybody. Maybe I can come back later.

Love you!
Ted. E. Bare

I in trouble.

2009-01-19T14:53:00.000-08:00

I in trouble. Dave says that I have no right to leave without me telling him. I know he’s right.

Love,
Ted E.Bare

What's Wine Country?

2009-01-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

Chuck and I are going to go on a little trip. It’s not that far away, where we are going to. I will let you know more later. Chuck says it’s called: “Wine Country”. That’s a funny name for a country.

We will be back on Sunday night. Have a fun time on your weekend, too.

Love,
Ted. E. Bare

We bettter don't go...

2009-01-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

Chuck is funny. He wanted me to get Dave’s credit card out of his pocket so we can go to a far away place. I don’t like planes. They scare me. Everyone knows that, even Chuck.

So, he said that we could go on a train somewhere. Haha. Dave would really get mad about that. We better don’t.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

David Strassman and Ted E. Bare Wish Everyone a Happy New Year!

2009-01-09T01:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

Love,
David Strassman and Ted E. Bare.

Chuck Wood is Making Me Mad.

2009-01-09T01:20:00.000-08:00

Chuck tricked us, and David is really upsetted. He said Chuck is mentally deranged for acting possessed by the demon.

I hope things change soon. Chuck is making it hard to be happy around here, and he thinks it’s funny.

I don’t like Chuck sometimes.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Merry Holidays!

2008-12-23T20:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Christmas and Merry Holidays to you!

Love you!
Ted E. Bare and David Strassman

Chuck is Gone!

2008-12-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

Chuck JUST STARES ALOT. He is not moving around much. He just sits there and stares at the Christmas tree and watches the lights blink on and off. When Dave tries to talk to him, Chuck says (in a scary voice):”Leave me alone. Go away!”

Hurt Him?

2008-12-18T13:34:00.000-08:00

Chuck said he is hearing voices. Dave and I aren’t hearing them. Chuck is serious. He said that he is hearing bad stuff, like: “Hurt him! Huuuuuuuurt him!” What should we do?

Help!
Ted E. Bare

Chuck is Not Well.

2008-12-18T13:33:00.001-08:00

Chuck is talking to himself a lot like he is two people. Dave is starting to think Chuck has something or someone else inside him!

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Chuck's Dream Part 2

2008-12-16T09:53:00.000-08:00

Dave is poking fun and trying to get Chuck to be more happy. I believe Chuck. He has changed since he had the dream about being a boy. But, I remember he said he wants to sell his soul to a devil. That scares me.

Ted E. Bare

Chuck's Dream

2008-12-16T09:52:00.000-08:00

Dave is talking to Chuck about his dream. Dave thinks that Chuck was in a bad dream and not a good dream. Chuck is getting mad, because Dave is not talking to him when he needs it most.

Love,
Ted E.

Catch.

2008-12-11T17:15:00.000-08:00

Chuck is sick and I am not allowed to go into his room because Dave says I can catch it. I don’t have my baseball glove on, so I can’t catch it anyway.

I hope Chuck feels better soon. He’s out of it.

Love,
Ted E.

About the Devil.

2008-12-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

Dave says the devil doesn’t really exist. He’s just a metpore for bad people. Why did Chuck sell his soul to the devil? I think because he really wants to be a boy.

I’m scared of the devil. I don’t want him to get my soul.

Love,
Ted E. Bare.

The Devil

2008-12-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

I just read Chuck’s blog and I want to know, “What is the devil?”
Can you guys explain that to me?

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Tanksgiving

2008-12-02T10:06:00.000-08:00

Tanksgiving is a nice holiday. No one is working and the kitchen always smells like stuffing and all the nice things I like to eat.

I hope you guys had a lot of good food. I was thinking about you all.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

A Word from David Strassman

2008-11-25T17:22:00.000-08:00

Hi Everybody. Just want to say that I love you guys. You are all so great and awesome. Now Dave wants to say something to you guys.

Hi Dear Friends,
Dave here. Just wanted everyone to know that Chuck is absolutely not abused or taken advantage of. See his post on his blog today. http://chuckwoodsblog.blogspot.com/

Chuck can be demanding, rude and extremely insecure sometimes. He can act like a real brat. But, I still love him. He’s like a son to me and I have unconditional love for him.

To make him feel better, go ahead and leave him a comment. It’s important to him, so I want to support him.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the US followers.

Love,
David Strassman

Blow Outs!

2008-11-20T16:49:00.001-08:00

Oh oh! Chuck and Dave had a blow out. And, I don’t mean tires!

Love,
Ted. E. Bare

Cutey-ness

2008-11-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

Today Dave took me shopping and all the girls stopped to talk to me. We are a big hit here in Australia, but even in America girls seem to like me better than Chuck. I tell them that Chuck has changed, but they always grin and sometimes they wink at me and say: “Oooh, Ted E. you’re so cute!”

What does it mean?

Love,
Ted E.

Brainwashing?

2008-11-14T15:13:00.000-08:00

David Strassman talked to me and Chuck. He said it doesn’t make us bad to think bad thoughts. It’s normal. We just have to do good things so we don’t think bad thoughts. He says for us to keep ourselves busy with things that are good for us. So, we all went for a walk. Under his breath I heard Chuck mumble: “Brain washing.” That’s funny. Who washes their brain?

Haha.
Ted E.Bare

Thinking Bad Things...

2008-11-13T00:29:00.000-08:00

Chuck wants to know if thinking bad things makes someone a bad person. I don’t know. I think bad stuff sometimes. Where does it come from, Dave?
Am I baaad?

Love,
Ted E. Bare
http://www.ventriloquist-david-strassman.com

Nutty Dave.

2008-11-11T10:31:00.000-08:00

David is funny. Today, he was running around the house like a chicken with his head cut off. He couldn’t find his car keys and they were in his hand the whole entire time! He is nutty sometimes. When I looked at Chuck he was about to say something and then he rolled his eyes and smiled. Chuck is doing so much better. A month ago, he would have said: “You’re an idiot!”

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Apple Pie ala Mode

2008-11-06T11:26:00.000-08:00

Hi Everybody!

Dave is not only the best ventriloquist, but he can also make an apple pie like no one else. He said with ice cream, it’s called ala mode. French is a funny and cute language.

XOXOXO,
Ted E. Bare

Vote America!

2008-11-04T09:53:00.001-08:00

I love being home. I like my room. It makes me feel real cozy inside. It's getting colder and I have to wear my warm house slippers now.

I love you guys.

Stay warm and David Strassman says: GO VOTE, AMERICA!!!

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Back Again!

2008-11-03T19:33:00.000-08:00

We’re already back from Awestralia. This time things were much calmer and Chuck was being a team with Dave and me. The shows were better than ever and I was having so much fun on stage.

Dave wanted me to tell all you Americans that Dave's DVDs are now available on Amazon.com in US DVD Format. Go there!

http://www.amazon.com/Strassman-Live/dp/B001GPL124/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1225496581&sr=1-1

Bye,
Ted. E. Bare

Dave is Nice!

2008-09-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am glad that I told Dave about everything. Chuck was going to “destroy Dave and his act.” I couldn’t let that happen, because Dave is nice to me and he takes care of me.

Love,
Ted. E. Bare

TOT?

2008-09-08T19:01:00.000-07:00

Chuck and I have been rehearsing a new show. He is calling it the Take Over Tour, or “TOT”. He thinks it’s funny, but I am not sure it’s so funny. He is writing my lines and they aren’t really me. I am lovable, not mean.

I think I gotta tell Dave.

Love, Ted. E. Bare

I Am Tired Today.

2008-09-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

Tired from all the screaming last night. Dave was walking around cussing at the phone. He even threw it out the window. Lately, he has not been himself. He still won’t let me look at Chuck.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

A Cake For Me???

2008-09-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

I can’t figure out what I did to deserve a cake from Chuck. It’s not even my birthday. Well, I don’t care. I just want to eat it and forget about why he’s spoiling me.

Love me.
Ted E. Bare

My Heart Hurts!

2008-08-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Chuck talked to me a lot yesterday. Dave told me not to talk to Chuck, or even look at him. But, it made my heart hurt, so I had to. Chuck was crying and saying that Dave hurts his feelings all the time. He makes him sit in that sissy chair and makes him ashamed in front of the audience. He told me all about his childhood and how “Buttons” the clown touched him with mittens. I feel really sorry for Chuck now. He’s like a brother to me.

Love,

Ted E. Bare

Last Night.

2008-08-27T10:46:00.001-07:00

The LAPD came to the door in the middle of the night. Chuck was found wandering around very late and the car was crashed into a tree in a canyon. Chuck told the cops that he lived in New York with a rich man, but one of the cops knows Dave; he’s seen his trailers on YouTube, so they called on the radio and found us. Chuck didn’t want to get out of the police car and he was yelling: “That is not my house! Don’t make me go in there!” It was a big mess and he woke up half the neighborhood. I think Chuck is losing his mind.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

I Am So Sad!

2008-08-25T12:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend was not good. Every time I thought things would calm down, Chuck did something to make Dave mad. I don’t know why I stick up for him and talk Dave out of sending him away, because he turns me into a liar when I tell Dave, “Chuck is not so bad. It’s just how he is.” I think Dave loves and hates Chuck. I think Chuck just hates everybody. I’m not sure I can help him. It makes me sad.

Love,
Ted E. Bare

Rehab for Puppets?

2008-08-22T13:18:00.000-07:00

Oh oh! David is thinking about sending Chuck to a rehab place for bad puppets. I overheard him talking to a doctor on the phone today. Even though, I don’t like Chuck when he picks on me and hurts my feelings, I don’t really want him to be sent away. I think he will only get worse.

Anxiously yours,

Ted E. Bare

We Made it Home Alive!

2008-08-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

We’re back home. I already miss Adelaide. I don’t miss the plane ride though. It scares me. I don’t like the loud noise and people always throw the shipping trunk Dave keeps me in. And, it always takes soooo long to get out of there! I get scared of the tight and dark trunk and I always cry to myself, but no one hears me.

All my love,
Ted E. Bare

I am Someone's FAVORITE!

2008-08-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight was great. I met a nice couple who told Dave that I am their favorite. It made me blush. I like hearing things like thaaat, but I try not to let it get to my head. Dave says that means I am modest and I don’t have a big ego. It’s a trait everyone loves about me.

Egolessly yours,

Ted E. Bare

Breakfast in Awe-stralia...

2008-08-12T22:47:00.000-07:00

Dave and I are sitting in front of the ‘puter together. He is drinking a herbal tea and I am drinking my hot cocoa. We’re reading Chuck’s blog and Dave is shaking his head a lot. I don’t think he has come up with a strategy that will put Chuck in his place.

I can feel this is all going to blow up in Chuck’s face soon.

Poor Chuck is digging himself into a self-made hole.

Yours always,

Ted E. Bare

The End of a David Strassman Show

2008-08-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

My favorite moments are at the end of the show when people get up and clap for a long time. Clapping is so much fun. I wish my paws could meet in the middle so I can clap. Oh well.

I feel so proud of Dave, sometimes even Chuck and myself. I forget about everything and lose myself... When I find myself again, I'm happy. There is no talking, just bowing and clapping. I love that! It feels like we are the funnest guys alive! -- EVER! It's like when I eat dark chocolate. I love chocolates!!! And, I always want more. Tell Chuck I'm not a turtle!!!

Love forever,
Ted E. Bare

Thank You, Adelaide!

2008-08-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

We had two sold out shows tonight! I sure love Adelaide! They laugh real loud! The people are so nice even if the Trams are weird. The trams don’t go anywhere. I don’t understand it. That’s so funny. I wanted to go out and have a curry after the show but Dave said he’s jetlagged and wanted to go to sleep. That’s okay. I love to sleep.

Nighty night,
Ted E.

We're in Australia!

2008-08-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

Yippee! David decided not to ground Chuck until we get home. He doesn’t want Chuck to ruin the shows. There is one more day till the show in Adelaide.

I like working with David Strassman, (I call him Dave!) because he is the best ventriloquist on the planet and I woooooove him.

Your friend always,
Ted E. Bare

Chuck Wood is in bad trouble!

2008-07-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

David is keeping a close eye on Chuck, wondering if he should be grounded before or after the tour in Australia. I’m scared Chuck is going to ruin the show. He always lashes out at me when David gets mad at him. I’m scaaaaared.

We're on to you, Chucky Boy!

2008-07-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

I couldn’t sleep all night because Chuck was laughing to himself, so I snuck out of my room and saw him sitting in front of the ‘puter. This morning I checked his webernet history and saw he made a blog. I thought: Why can’t I have one, too? I’m not that dumb, because I talked to David about it and he said he would be glad to type my blog for me and everyone knows that David Strassman does not make typing mistakes.

“What’s Twitter, David?” “Let’s go find out!”